#amatonormativity is a bitch

[yannig]

I'm invested in Mut and Tongrak, don't get me wrong. I like them, I like the show, I will keep watching and enjoying it.

But from an aromantic perspective, it's fucking painful.

I. know. Tongrak doesn't believe in love because his parents' marriage was a tragedy and he's never seen real love, yada yada.

But he reads so, so aromantic to me. Like "love is imaginary and only exists in story" is a pretty common aromantic experience.

I know in this context it's the trauma. And it's a perfectly legit plot.

But seeing his perspective being dismissed so readily by the show... it hurts a bit, to be honest.

[aro-enigma]

Something that's good about engaging with more aromantic spaces online is that I think it's genuinely helped me finally get past that shitty grief stage. That whole bit where you're just sort of mourning the future society told you that you had to have; the future that you now know will never suit you. I'm finally at a point where I actually don't hate being aromantic. It doesn't make me feel like I'm losing out on anything anymore. My life has just as much potential to be rich and fulfilling as anyone else's. Finally realizing that and actually feeling it is quite nice.

[sudoscience]

Friend: *sigh* I'm going to die alone...

Me: [What the fuck am I supposed to say to that?]

Friend: I wish I was in a relationship/married/getting laid

Me (aroace virgin whose been single basically their entire life):

[silvermoon424]

I'm so fucking sick of amatonormativity dude. Someone on Reddit left a comment that was basically like "the majority of people need a romantic relationship to be happy, it's how we're wired" and I responded saying that I disagreed and that more and more people (especially women) are finding fulfillment in other relationships and are happy being single.

I got heavily downvoted.

Of course most people like being in a committed relationship, but you don't have to be aromantic or asexual to enjoy being single. Maybe more people would like being single if we as a culture stopped pushing the narrative (especially on women) that being single is lonely, horrible, and depressing and that you need a romantic partner to be a complete person.

[autuboho]

pisses me off beyond the level, do you devalue friendships that much? partner culture is another reason why men can’t build deep friendships unless for conjugal purpose. It enhances the idea that all relationships in particular romantic ones are linked with the road of partnership. If you want a partner just say it on the face. Plain and simple.

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning arospec culture is not knowing if you’re arospec or just really fucking fed up with amatonormativity

<2

[sol1loqu1st]

oh random uquiz that tells me the emotion i make art from is alienation (true) while the stats say that the majority of people make art from the emotion of love we're really in it now

[alex-the-bringer-of-chaos]

Ok, since there's been a lot of infighting (for some fucking reason) over Mike's sexuality, allow me to state something: Who cares? As long as that bitch isn't straight and ends up with El there will be a satisfying story with good narrative being told.

Please finish reading before getting pissed off :D.

I understand that people want to see themselves represented (bitch I'm aroace and agender, I get it), but we don't need to fight over it. Make your analysis and why you think a certain way, but no need to attack one each other.

Now I gotta say something else: I don't care what Mike's sexuality is, as long as he ends up with Will. The reason for that, you ask? Well simple:

Independent el and byler endgame is the only happy and right ending - I've said that numerous times and the narrative agrees with it.

I'm saying this not because I think that his sexuality is irrelevant or cause I don't care about his character arch, quite the contrary. I think that, regardless of him being gay, bi, pan, queer or unlabeled, Mike will have a satisfying storyline and character arch. A good one, that will make sense with the narrative of the show. And we will get to analyze it. A thing that won't happen if he's straight and milkvan is endgame - cause that would be a shit story due to garbage narrative.

Now obviously some people have their reasons for preferring and believing in one outcome over the other, and that's okay, as long as your not a pussy and a little bitch about it. That's all. Thanks for reading folks. Please don't come at me with pitchforks if you wanna hate, just block me.

[saebaragi]

i have thoughts about friendship and amatonormativity. they're not very organized but they are here. I just wanted to warn anyone that might randomly see my posts sometimes that sometime I might show up with a long post about friendship and amatonormativity.

[kakushusband]

'what if this character was under the impression that their devotion, passion and dedication towards their love interest was just platonic' boring. You are boring as fuck all.

[ohporcupine]

if you feel like you've seen me posting more about aromanticism lately: you're right and you're welcome

[no-romance-for-me-please]

Bit of a vent:

Tw: amatonormativity

Just right now I had a bit of a frustrating conversation with some adults and I am feeling slightly emotional :l

Some of my mom’s friends came over to have a party and they were talking about someone’s daughter starting to really like cooking, and they joked that she was cooking for her boyfriend (she doesn’t have one) and I was listening next to them, so I said

“I don’t understand, why do people have to cook for someone else,”

And one guy replied with

“It’s because you don’t have a boyfriend yet,” (I am very closeted irl, so I identify as a cis straight girl to him)

And I was ever so slightly triggered by that, so I continued to argue with the guy, which was a big ass mistake, because now I feel a bit like shit,

But anyways I responded with

“Why do I have to have a boyfriend anyways? What if I never get a partner in the future?”

And my mom who was also listening piped up, said something along the lines of

“When I was 19 I also thought like that, but I met your dad and I changed my mind,” some shit like that,

And the other guy chimed in

“You’ll want to get a boyfriend when you’re older, just you wait”

And now I feel a bit mad. :(

Of course, there is no way I feel angry just because of some stupid chat, but it really is a problem that I normally have this conversation with some adults. The main two things are

Adults (mostly parents) not taking the things teens an kids say seriously, and

Amatonormativity

OH MY GOD FUCK AMATONORMATIVITY

If someone says they ain’t going to fucking date anyone, let them BEEEEE

I’ve overheard conversations where people insult other people for being single or have never dated anyone in their lives before

I’ve had conversations with my mother about me not wanting to have a partner in the future, and her just brushing it off, saying either, “You’ll change your mind one day”, Or “You are just young, your hormones haven’t kicked in”, Or , “Wait till you find someone you like”

I’ve listened to people say how there is ALWAYS that other-half, or special someone, or forever soulmate or WHATEVER THE FUCK, and I’ve had enough.

PLEASE.

STOP.

Some people just AREN’T GOING TO HAVE A PARTNER FOR LIFE.

ITS NORMAL.

LET ALL OF US BE ARO AT PEACE.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :(

Fuck amatonormativity.

[kaelyx-zac01]

I may not feel romantic love but boi do I consume it

love is stored in the fictional couple i’ve gotten overly invested in

[starlitsister]

Thinking about the weird phenomenon where because a lot of people haven't made the distinction between romantic/platonic feelings and romantic/platonic relationships there's this thing that happens where when some people try and talk about romantic/platonic relationships, generally in the context of how society places greater importance on romantic relationships and how that's reflected in media, they end up instead making the claim that romantic feelings don't exist between people in platonic relationships. Now, as someone who is aplatonic who has never in her life been able to discern a difference between romantic and platonic feelings (because as far as I can tell I don't have platonic feelings), and have never had anyone I ask be able to draw a clear line between them, that feels wild.

People making the claim that two characters can't have any romantic feelings for each other and any readings of that are wrong because they're friends, meanwhile I'm over here fully unable to have a genuine friend I don't have romantic feelings for, because anything below that is just an acquaintance. I have extremely deep feelings for my best friend and always have had for my various best friends, I would date my current best friend in a heartbeat if the circumstances were right because that's the degree of feelings that come with being my best friend. And if I were a character in some anime this would be written off as yuribait subtext, somehow, because she's my friend and I intend to keep it that way. Just because the nature of the relationship is platonic the entirety of the feelings involved are assumed to be platonic. I can definitely see a lot of that sentiment coming from people who view platonic relationships and feelings as lesser to romantic relationships and feelings, but I do also see it from people trying to criticize amatonormativity who will really take an issue with the insinuation that these canonical friends could have some romantic feelings going on because why can't they just be friends? And I'm just left there like okay but that's literally just my everyday life.

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i am better than my jealousyyy 👍👍👍

[claratyler]

I get so taken aback everytime someone asks me genuinely "do you have a boyfriend?" Like...of course i dont. are you kidding me.